Oh Lord, You’re Beautiful

My roommate Justin cornered me into doing something I didn’t want any part of.  If you know me, you already know that I am not a huge fan of doing things I don’t want to do.  Typically, I will simply refuse and leave it at that.  This was different, though.  I could see the importance of the request, and I wanted to oblige, even though it would be a most uncomfortable situation for me.

He wanted me to watch “The Passion of the Christ” with him.  I have only seen the movie once before, and it was an extremely emotional experience for me.  I am not one that likes to let my emotions be exposed to others, and so at first I told him he would have to go it alone.  He brought it up again a few more times through the week until I finally caved.

As I watched Jim Caviezel portray my Savior, something really stood out to me.  This must have been an amazing experience to have… To be Jesus on the big screen.  I remember the free VHS tape called “Jesus” that came to everyone in the mail when I was a kid.  (They’re now found for 2 bucks in any Goodwill store.). No one can tell you who played Jesus in that film.  Some people never even popped it into their VCR.  But, they know Jim Caviezel.  I’m not certain if the film did much to boost Caviezel’s IMDB credits, but surely to this day, he has people who walk up to him and say “Hey, you’re Jesus!”

Something else really stood out to me while I watched the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ on my big Sony screen.  I have never died on a cross… nor has Jim Caviezel.  When Jesus was on the cross and said “I thirst,” he was given vinegar diluted with water… when Caviezel had thirst, twelve people came running with gatorade and and any flavor of Snapple imaginable.  When Christ was beaten, his flesh was literally ripped and torn from his body.  When Caviezel was beaten, the tearing of skin was computer generated.

He and I will never know what it is like to be accused, beaten, mocked, and eventually brutally murdered for the sins of others.  Our natural instinct is to dodge responsibility.  When we were kids, and we broke our mom’s lamp, or one of our dad’s tools, our instincts would tell us to blame a sibling, or even the dog or cat if it seemed believable.  But not Christ.  Like a Secret Service agent for the President, he jumped in front of the bullets for us all and said “I got this!”

“Oh Lord, you’re beautiful
Your face is all I seek
And when your eyes are on this child
Your grace abounds to me”

What Christ did for us is what makes Him so beautiful.  It’s the fact that God loved us so much that he gave His Son.  Show me a man made God that could do that for you.  His love for me is what keeps me going day after day.  It’s why I never give up, even though I try to convince myself so hard that I have so many reasons to.

“I want to take your word and shine it all around
But first help me just to live it Lord
And when I’m doing well, help me to never seek a crown
For my reward is giving glory to you”

Although I was once again brought to tears as I watched The Passion of the Christ, I know that what I saw was a very beautiful thing.  As I wake every morning, and lay my head down each night, I pray that every step I take, breath I breather, and word I speak  in between will exalt the name of Jesus.  If it doesn’t, I need to question if I really changed when I asked Him into my heart.  He is full of mercy and grace, and He wants a relationship with me.  I owe Him nothing less.  He is a beautiful man.

♫♪ “Oh Lord You’re Beautiful” by Brian Johnson contributed to the composition of this story.

Believe

It was literally the coolest thing I had ever seen thus far as I stood in front of Toys R Us.  I was 5 years old, and my dad pointed up to the sky at the helicopter that was lowering into the parking lot.  I had never seen a helicopter up close, and this was my big day.  I had loved airplanes and helicopters and wanted one for Christmas, but today I was getting to see the real thing.

Everything changed when the side door of the chopper opened, and someone stepped out.  I suddenly realized why the helicopter had landed when I recognized the exiting passenger… It was SANTA!

I, along with another 50 or so children were absolutely thrilled at this point, because this was our chance to sit in Santa’s lap and tell him what we wanted for Christmas.  I of course asked for a helicopter just like his!  He looked into the crowd and said “Has he been a good boy, mom?”  Mom smiled and nodded.  I had the most satisfaction ever at that moment when Santa told me to expect my helicopter on Christmas morning.

I knew Santa was just a man in a red suit and a fake beard, and when I unwrapped my remote control helicopter on Christmas morning, I knew it was from mom and dad.  But still, the experience was surreal at five years old, and it was a moment that has yet to exit my favorite memories file folder of my mind.

♫♪ “Children sleeping, snow is softly falling
Dreams are calling like bells in the distance
We were dreamers not so long ago
But one by one we all had to grow up
When it seems the magic’s slipped away
We find it all again on Christmas day.” ♫♪

I never bought into the whole Santa, Easter Bunny, or Tooth Fairy thing.  Just didn’t seem right.  It seemed totally illogical, even as a small child.  It was something that I enjoyed every year… telling Santa my toy wishes, and hunting for Easter eggs and things like that simply because I was a child.  But I had to tell myself that these beings were just figments of imagination and fun ideas.

That was never the case with Jesus Christ.  I believed in Him the moment I was first told about Him.  Being raised in a Christian home, I heard a lot about Jesus as a child.  When I was frightened of the dark, and mom reassured me that I shouldn’t be because Jesus was in my room with me, I believed her.  I still do.

What I found hard to believe happened when I watched “The Passion of the Christ.”  I vividly remember being at Rave Motion Pictures in Daphne Alabama seated between a good friend and my Associate Pastor.  For nearly 45 minutes, I watched a man portraying Christ who was beaten, and beaten, and beaten… and then he was beaten some more.  This went on forever, eventually leading to him being nailed to a wooden cross aside  criminals… our Savior.

I had a really hard time watching this, and YES, I cried.  I cried hard.  I just couldn’t believe that someone would do something like that for me.  This wasn’t Santa… this was my Savior.  This gift that I would receive from Him could never fit beneath a Christmas tree… it WAS a Christmas tree.  Two wooden beams… stripped of their branches, limbs, and leaves… And three nails later, Jesus hung, almost lifeless with two limbs of His own stretched from the east to the west.

It’s not fiction, nor is it a simple inspirational story combined with emotional triggers to try and steer us all in the right direction.  It was real.  It all happened.   He began as a King, but became a child to show us the way.  He then had to once again become a King to show us all what love really was, and to take away the sin of the world.  He had to become something we couldn’t be ourselves.  From a precious baby to a martyr.

It’s easy to get caught up in the way Christmas is popularly celebrated today, but it’s important to remember who Christ is and why He came, and why He died and rose again.  He’s our Savior, and for many, this is the only time they will even think about Him.

♫♪ “When it seems that we have lost our way
We find ourselves again on Christmas day” ♫♪

Christmas is near, and as we enjoy our gifts, Christmas dinner, and friends and family… Take time to celebrate Christ and what He means to us all.

♫♪ “Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that’s playing
There’s no time to waste
There’s so much to celebrate
Believe in what you feel inside
And give your dreams the wings to fly
you have everything you need
If you just believe.” ♫♪

♫♪ “Believe” by Josh Groban  contributed to the composition of this story.

♫♪ The Reason ♫♪

It really stinks to be a “screw-up.”  I’ve sure spent a good bit of my life being one… nearly to the point of being able to call myself an authority on the label.  From being the one who spent countless nights drinking and getting in trouble, jumping under the sheets, stealing, lying… so many things that turned me into a total hellion.  All of these things for some reason made me feel that I was cool… accepted.

Ya know what, though?  The people that were really accepting me through all of this were not the people I needed to get acceptance from.  They were bad for me.  I’m not going to blame them for my bad behavior… that was all on me.  Today, I am taking responsibility for my actions.  They simply encouraged me to go further.  They never encouraged me to stop, and they certainly never encouraged me to be a better person.  But dangit, they accepted me!  And I needed that!

I know, I know… You accepted me too.  I can’t deny that.  You were fully aware of what I was doing, and you tried so hard to convince me to turn and walk away.  I couldn’t do it though.  It was just so much fun, and so appealing.  The right way of doing things can be totally boring and not very popular.  It’s so much more fun to have the reputation of being the “bad boy.”

Today, I recognize so much more.  I have to come to terms that I affected someone other than myself.  I put someone else through excruciating pain… someone who only wanted to help.  It was you.  I caused your pain.  I caused your torture.  And ultimately… I caused your death.

♫♪ “I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know…” ♫♪

I heard what they did to you.  I felt so horrible once my head finally cleared and I was able to get a grasp on the severity of what you dealt with before you died.  I cried so much.  I cried until it hurt.

I wish I could say that I learned my lesson from all of that.  Nope.  Soon after, I was right back out doing the things I knew were wrong.  Back in trouble… back in despair.  There were many people who were aware of what I had done to you, and they tried so hard to rescue me before I was able to hurt anyone else.  And… keeping up a great track record, I hurt many of those people too.  But wow… I can’t say that I hurt anyone as much as you.  You were the worst.

♫♪ “I’m sorry that I hurt you
It’s something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That’s why I need you to hear…” ♫♪

I guess I thought I just couldn’t handle what you were expecting of me.  It has taken me a really long time to realize it, but I now understand that you didn’t exactly expect “perfection,” but you knew that excellent was in my reach if I wanted it bad enough.  Today… I want it.  And it’s something that I reach for with every fiber of my being.  I now understand how much better my life is because of the things you taught me, and how it could have been better long ago if I would have simply heeded the warnings.  Today… because of you, I am a better man…

♫♪ “I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I’ve found a reason to show
A side of me you didn’t know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you” ♫♪

As I sit here writing this today, I cannot fathom what it must have been like for you to be brutally beaten up and stabbed because of the junk that was really all my fault.  Publically humiliated… left to die.  It should have been me!  I don’t know how you dealt with it.  I cannot think of another person who would step in and say “take me instead.”  That’s simply amazing.  I’m not sure that anyone else in my life loves me quite that much.  I mean… you were also responsible for talking to them and getting them to help me  be a better person,  and I really appreciate each and every one of them for doing that… but they didn’t step up to the plate and LITERALLY put skin in the game the way you did.

I also cannot imagine ever having nails driven through my hands and feet, and being hung on a wooden cross because of something I did wrong, much less because of something that someone else did wrong… and me being innocent!  I know that you did this to free EVERYONE from the curse of sin, but I’m not focused on any of those people right… I’m thinking about me.  You did this for me, and I’m taking it quite personal.

Today, I step into the shoes of those who stood with me for a long time telling me about you and what all you did for me.  I walk this life with a new purpose… to reach the people of today that are the “me of yesterday.”  I can tell your story and mine.  I can talk about my relationship with You, and how You took death for me, and moved that gravestone three days later to rise victoriously as the King of Kings!

I can teach others how my you placed such great people in my life that share my same values and quality of life, and how these people are your Earthly representatives to help keep me close to You until You see fit to bring me to Your home.

I can teach others that there is no better life on Earth than the one I live today.  I can teach them that the reason is You.

♫♪ “The Reason” by Hoobastank contributed to the composition of this blog.